Potato and Rice Hit the Bigtime!

So, the fact of the matter is, Potato and Rice couples are so trendy, that Potato and Rice themselves cannot go anywhere out in public without running into another "us" couple. Potato and Rice couples are everywhere on television, and even children are getting into the act.

Publish Post

But, yet so far, the general public has yet to fully embrace the growing ubiquitousness of Potato and Rice couples. Wait no more America! As of January 31, 2010, Potato and Rice have hit the Bigtime! On the latest episode of the highly popular series _The Simpsons_, "Million Dollar Maybe", a couple is being married in the beginning of the episode. Yes you guessed it, it is a Potato and Rice couple! Potato and Rice muse that if anyone gets a mention on _The Simpsons_ it is surely a sign of permanent pop culture status! Rejoice!

P.S. Perhaps the writers of _The Simpsons_ saw this post?

Potato and Rice Go Holiday Shopping

It is indeed that time of year again. Due to a recent move of dwellings

Potato and Rice have been severely behind on their
Christmas shopping for the year. It was decided that gifts for certain
nieces and nephews had to be made on a Saturday afternoon at a
local Toys 'R' Us. Normally Potato and Rice shun crowds, especially
crowds of poorly behaved adults shoving their way through aisles
knocking over displays and then turning to see if anyone noticed
then walking away. But it being the Christmas season and all
Potato and Rice braved their way to the store. Of course, the
store was crowded. Potato and Rice could not decide which line
was longer, the line for returns (yes, even before Christmas) or
the line for checkout.

Potato and Rice made it over to the games area. There, were
old standbys such as "Ants in the Pants", "Operation", "Chutes and Ladders".
In browsing through this section, deciding on what to purchase
Potato and Rice noticed one game which was flat on the shelf. In righting
the item up, Rice notices the back picture of the game. It indeed had
two children enjoying themselves, playing the game. Ah, but not so fast!
Upon closer inspection, the two children were a young Potato and Rice
couple themselves. Of course Potato and Rice do not believe the
children were actually an "item", but mere "good friends" enjoying
the fun of playing a game together.

Potato and Rice couples are not only trendy adult couples, but now
socially acceptable child pairings as well. Potato and Rice mused that
it perhaps is the only "diverse" male/female pairing of children they
would ever see on a game box.

Happiness is a Snack Chip

Recently, Potato and Rice went shopping for...adult beverages. While in the store, Potato had an epiphany of sorts. Potato and Rice call these moments "impulse buys". Potato places a bag of snack chips into the basket. Potato and Rice pay for their purchases, and head home.



Whenever there is a purchase of food or food related items, Rice unpacks and usually shoos Potato out of the way. This is Potato's way of helping best, by the way. So, Rice unpacks the beverages and places the bag of chips on the counter. Rice well knows that once she leaves the kitchen, it is Potato's signal that he once again can come into the kitchen without incurring Rice's "shoo shoo"-ing. Potato finds the bag of chips and settles down on the couch.



Rice, of course, is oh so curious about what exactly did Potato "impulse buy". It appears to be a bag of potato chips, salt and vinegar flavor. Potato takes a chip and chews on it thoughtfully. Rice watches the expression go from "curious" to "interesting" to "better have another to make sure" Potato seems to like the chips well enough, so Rice goes ahead and tries one. These are not potato chips at all. They, are in fact, PopChips. According to the package, they are neither baked or fried, but subjected to heat and pressure which causes the chips to "pop". Sort of a cross between a Pringles chip and popcorn. They are pretty good, by the way.



So, Rice starts reading the ingredients. Of course, the first ingredient is potatoes. But, down the list is rice flour. Apparently, the rice flour is used in the seasoning somehow. This leads to the following exchange :



Rice : Hey Potato! These chips are just like real life!



Potato : What? (incredulous look)



Rice : See, the RICE flour is part of the seasoning.

Therefore, you would just be plain and boring

Potato if you didn't have some spice in your life!



Potato : Oh Yeah? That also means that POTATO

is your backbone, your reason for being!



Now, who knew that snack chips were so prophetic?

Chips from Potatoes and Potatoes from Chips

So, many of you Rice-like gals out there are probably wondering to yourself, “How can we find a Potato of our own?” The answer, surprisingly, is easier than you think.

One day, Potato and Rice were out running errands. They had to stop by a drugstore to pick up a few things. While hunting and gathering through the store, they passed by a well dressed Rice-like young woman who was simultaneously juggling an armful of snacks, and talking on her cell phone at the same time. Potato and Rice gave each other the “Kids these days” look.

After the hunting and gathering was done, Potato and Rice put their items on the checkout line. As soon as Potato noticed a glint of snack chips, he asked Rice to put down the “order separator” bar to make room. As soon as the bar went down, so did a mountain of snack chips. There must have been at least 10 bags of various types of chips. And in the middle of this mountain of deep fried goodness? A large bottle of soda. Yes, it did indeed belong to the young woman Potato and Rice passed in the store.

Potato : (glances at woman) “Looks like someone’s having a party”

Woman : “Oh yeah, chips and soda…only the healthiest of foods”

Potato : (looking over the mountain) “Yeah…let’s go with that…MMm…Funyuns!”

Woman : (giggling) “Really? Are they that good?”

Potato : “I like Funyuns”

Woman : “Really? Wow…maybe I should get some more”

The woman then leaves the line and goes back into the snack aisle for more Funyuns.

Later, Potato and Rice have analyze the event.

Potato : “Where do you think she was going with all those chips? “

Rice : “I don’t know… maybe she was going to a party and someone called for a chip run”

Potato : “..and soda too. Why wouldn’t they just get a couple of large bags?” (pauses) “Is getting all those chips her way of making sure everyone gets what they want?”

Rice : “That does sound like my people”

Potato : (chuckling – Potato always chuckles when he has something clever up his sleeve ---) “Maybe she wanted to see what would attract a Potato”

Rice : “And you did influence her decision to get more Funyuns”

Potato : (enthusiastic chuckling) “Yeah, like she’s going to go out and start sprinkling Funyuns out on her lawn to see who shows up”

Rice : “Like you?”

Potato : (innocent look)

To this day, Potato comes home and has this sad puppy dog look on his face and says “Awww…no Funyuns on the lawn.”

Rice just sighs.

Potato and Rice go to the Airport

Every now and then, Potato and Rice go on vacation. Yes yes, even hard working Potatoes and Rices need to take time away from it all.

As fate would have it, Potato and Rice decided to take a few days in Las Vegas, again.

So, dutifully, they found the line for security and after some guffawing over people who were confused/never boarded an airplane after 9/11, made it through with no major mishaps.

As Potato and Rice got closer to their gate, they saw the flight was pretty crowded. They did arrive at the gate, after all, 45 minutes before scheduled boarding time. There were no seats in the gate area open. So, naturally, Potato and Rice found a nice quiet area near the end of some pay telephones. (no, really, they were actual pay telephone booths - you youngin's do not know they joy of having spare change on hand, "just in case")

Potato and Rice waited for the boarding to begin. As we watched others scurrying past our gate, they noticed another Potato and Rice couple coming their way. Potato and Rice both gave each other the "there's another us" look. Mind you, this is usually closely followed by Potato pointing out the fact that before the coming of Rice, his facial hair used to be brown and not gray. Potato usually has to suppress the natural instinct of saving his fellow Potatoes - rushing over to the other Potato and explaining how much he will age if Rice gets a hold of him.

Anyway, Potato and Rice noticed the other couple was checking their boarding passes against the gate number, and sure enough, they were going to Las Vegas as well. The other couple too noticed that there were no places to sit. They looked around, and even though there were plenty of other places to stand, they noticed Potato and Rice and stood right next to them.

Potato and Rice could not help but notice that they had started some sort of "Potato and Rice" waiting area.

Potato and Rice = Corporate Shills

So, recently, Potato and Rice have noticed that their type of relationship is getting trendier and trendier.

There are now four (count them FOUR) commercials playing on television showing couples that are Potato and Rice-like.

#1 Volkswagon - Oh, you know the one. There's a Potato showing off the new car he wants to buy and 'lo and behold, his Rice is all impressed. But then, some guy keeps beeping the alarm making our poor couple back off. A real Potato wouldn't drive a Volkswagon, nor try to impress his Rice with it.

#2 Volvo - There are people circling a new Volvo, pretty much representing a cross section of society. There's of course, a Potato and Rice, looking like they're just married and in the market for "their first" car. Hah...Potato and Rice don't buy a car together, they drive their own.

#3 eHarmony - The Rice is interviewed, and she goes on and on about how great a website it is, and how grateful she is to have found her "soulmate". What!? She went out and sought a Potato? It doesn't work that way...A Potato chooses his Rice, not the other way around.

#4 McDonald's - The new "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles on a sesame seed bun" relaunch, but with a HipHop attitude. There are several people enjoying a Big Mac, including a Potato while the Rice looks on, sipping happily on her drink. This particular commercial seals the trendiness of Potato and Rice. We've successfully infiltrated all aspects of popular culture, including HipHop. Woo Hoo!

Mothers in Law Part II - Potato's Mother in Law

Now, Potato's Mother in Law, is of course the Mother Rice. Rice, being Asian, has your typical Asian mother/daughter discourse - Nothing the daughter does is ever good enough, and Potato knows this. Potato in fact, in his own Potato-y way, pokes fun at Rice using her relationship with Mother Rice.

For example, a while ago, Potato and Rice had dinner with Rice's family, including parents and Rice's brother and significant other. This is, of course, the first time Brother Rice's SO has come to a Rice family outing, but alas, that is another story. So, we all decide to meet at a restaurant and Potato and Rice arrive a solid fifteen minutes early in order to drink as many gin based drinks as is possible in fifteen minutes. The rest of the family arrives and we are seated at a round table for eight. Rice and Brother Rice sit, ironically, farthest away their parents, using Potato and Brother Rice's partner as buffers between their parents. Potato ends up sitting next to Mother Rice.

During the meal, Mother Rice strikes up conversation with Potato.

Mother Rice : "How are you Potato?"

Potato : "I'm doing just great."

Mother Rice : "I want to make sure Rice is cooking for you."

Potato : "Oh there's nothing to worry about there. Rice
cooks about three times a week."

Potato : (snickering at Rice)

Rice : "Gee mom, thanks."

Mother Rice : "It's very important that you cook for Potato. You have to take care of him."

Rice : "Yes, mother"

Potato : (controlled outburst of laughter)

Ever since this moment, Potato never misses an opportunity to play the "Mother Rice" card.

Rice : "What do you feel like having for dinner?"

Potato : "I dunno...what are you cooking?"

Rice : "Well, I was thinking of maybe getting some Chinese take-out"

Potato : "Take out?? What would your mother think if she heard this?"

Rice : (feels 4000 years of guilt) "Fine fine...I'll cook something..."

Potato : (snickering) "Chinese take-out is fine"