Potato and Rice Dogsit

Potato's parents have a nice 11 year old dog, who's half-chocolate Lab and half-Shar Pei. He looks like a lab, but has some loose skin around the jowls and a spotted tongue. He's a very friendly and playful dog.

When Potato and Rice visit Potato's parents, the dog knows who give him the most attention upon visiting, Rice. Rice loves the dog, as she had never owned a dog in the past. The dog spends most of the time on his back, enjoying all the tummy rubs Rice gives him.

One time visiting, the dog had a small scratch on his nose and some minor damage to his tail. Potato's parents were on a four day trip to the East Coast, and placed the dog in a kennel.
Potato and Rice offered to dog sit next time they were going to be out of town.

So, recently, Potato's parents went away on a 10 day trip to the Motherland of the Potato, Ireland. Potato and Rice picked up the dog and wished Potato's parents a good trip.

Now, having a dog in the house is something new. Rice owns two cats, so the cats needed to be placed in their own room. The cats immediately knew something was up as there was a large brown sniffing machine outside their door. They sought higher ground and pretty much stayed there for 10 days.

Rice had ordered some items online and was expecting delivery. It is customary for our letter carrier to knock on the door when packages were left on the doorstep. Rice and the dog were hanging out one afternoon and there was a knock at the door. Rice thought "Ah, my packages" and went to open the door to retrieve them. The dog followed Rice to the door, as he does around the house. When she opened the door, the dog immediately started barking. There were no packages at the door, but two Mormons on their mission. Apparently, one fellow was scared of the dog, as he didn't say anything the whole time this conversation took place :

Dog : bark bark bark! (probably thinking "Hey! You're not Rice's packages!")

Mormon : Hello! I'm Elder so and so and this is Elder so and so.

Rice : Hello there!

Mormon : Well, we were walking through your neighborhood today ...

Dog : bark bark! Grrr! ("You're scaring away the deliveryman!")

Now Rice is non-religious, though knows the basics of pretty much all the world's religions. Potato's family is Catholic.

Rice : Ah, I see you're carrying a Book of Mormon, the revelations to Joseph Smith?

Mormon : I see you're familiar with it.

Dog : Grrr! bark bark! ("Didn't you hear me the first time?")

Rice : Well, not really, I know the basics.

Mormon : It's never to late to learn more about it, you know we could ...

At this point, Rice slightly loosens her grip on the dog's collar, causing him to jump slightly
and show off his teeth a little.

Dog : GRRRRR! bark! ("OK! I mean business!")

Rice : That would be interesting, but I don't think the dog would like it. He is a Catholic dog after all...

Mormon : Oh well, we should leave then.

Rice : Thanks for coming by.

Rice (to dog) : That's a good boy! (rubs dog's tummy)

Dog : (happy dog sounds)

Rice now has a greater appreciation of just how intelligent dogs are. Who would have known that dogs can tell the difference between deliverymen and not?

Potato's Birthday Dinner

One of the things that Rice had to learn about Potato's family is that birthdays are a pretty big deal. Well, a big deal from Rice's perspective. The entire Potato patch celebrates birthdays together. Usually, the family gathers for dinner out a restaurant, and then retire to Potato's parents house for cake and presents. And, yes, we all do sing "Happy Birthday".

Anyway, one of the popular choices for dinner (especially when it is Potato's birthday) is a local Japanese Teppanyaki place, you know, where they cook in front of you. The restaurant is pretty crowded, as they give the birthday boy or girl a free dinner. So, it's likely that if you go, you'll be sitting at a table with people celebrating a birthday. Luckily, the Potato patch takes up a whole table.

Indeed, on Potato's birthday, we venture out to the local Japanese Teppanyaki place. (as a side note, we have been going there for Potato's birthday as long as we've been together) We get our table, and our orders are taken. Having been exposed to many of Potato's kind before, Rice was not surprised when most of the Potato patch orders fried rice with their dinner. That is, all except for Potato's dad (Potato Sr.) and Potato himself. Rice would like to take credit for Potato not ordering fried rice, but she can't. It's a Potato thing.

Rice (to Potato Sr.) : I see you ordered plain white rice.

Potato Sr. : Yeah, I like it.

Rice : That's good to know...Four thousand years of culture prevents me from ordering fried rice.

So our cook comes out, introduces himself, goes over everyone's order. He starts his show, juggling his utensils, banging out some sort of rhythm with the salt shaker and spatula, etc. He did however, make a small volcano out of onion slices, filling it with alcohol and then setting it ablaze. It was pretty cool...really.

Eight bowls of rice as brought out, and the cook checks his list. He looks around the table and confirms each person who ordered fried rice and then proceeds to prepare the fried rice. A waitress comes over and delivers the three bowls of steamed rice to Potato, Potato Sr. and Rice.

As Rice and Potato are separating and smoothing out their chopsticks, Rice glances over at Potato Sr. He's not separating his chopsticks, nor is he reaching for a fork. Instead, he starts pouring soy sauce over his rice. At which point the following conversation takes place :

Potato Sr. (noticing Rice looking at him) : "Uh oh! I've been caught!"

Now, Rice has every right to be somewhat tweaked. This is the food of her people, being tainted with soy sauce. It's rice! It's supposed to be plain! But then again, Rice realizes, Potato Sr. is an elder, and therefore must be treated with utmost respect, and on top of that Potato Sr. has lived through a lot. He's had a couple of organ transplants, so whatever Potato Sr. wants, that's good enough for Rice.

Rice : "Oh that's ok, I've seen it before"

Potato Sr. : "You know, I just like soy sauce on rice"

So, the next year, we all go to the Japanese Teppanyaki place again for Potato's birthday. As we get our bowls of rice, Potato Sr. decides to be a little sneaky :

Potato's Mother to Potato Sr. : "What are you going there hon?"

Potato Sr. (trying to hide his rice bowl being a post) : "Nothing"

Rice, now looking over at Potato Sr.

Potato Sr. : "Uh...better look away Rice!"

Rice : "Why is that?" (Potato Sr. now reaching for soy sauce) "Oh!" (Rice cover eyes)

Potato Sr. : "All done!"

Is there any wonder where Potato gets his charm and consideration from?