Mothers in Law Part II - Potato's Mother in Law

Now, Potato's Mother in Law, is of course the Mother Rice. Rice, being Asian, has your typical Asian mother/daughter discourse - Nothing the daughter does is ever good enough, and Potato knows this. Potato in fact, in his own Potato-y way, pokes fun at Rice using her relationship with Mother Rice.

For example, a while ago, Potato and Rice had dinner with Rice's family, including parents and Rice's brother and significant other. This is, of course, the first time Brother Rice's SO has come to a Rice family outing, but alas, that is another story. So, we all decide to meet at a restaurant and Potato and Rice arrive a solid fifteen minutes early in order to drink as many gin based drinks as is possible in fifteen minutes. The rest of the family arrives and we are seated at a round table for eight. Rice and Brother Rice sit, ironically, farthest away their parents, using Potato and Brother Rice's partner as buffers between their parents. Potato ends up sitting next to Mother Rice.

During the meal, Mother Rice strikes up conversation with Potato.

Mother Rice : "How are you Potato?"

Potato : "I'm doing just great."

Mother Rice : "I want to make sure Rice is cooking for you."

Potato : "Oh there's nothing to worry about there. Rice
cooks about three times a week."

Potato : (snickering at Rice)

Rice : "Gee mom, thanks."

Mother Rice : "It's very important that you cook for Potato. You have to take care of him."

Rice : "Yes, mother"

Potato : (controlled outburst of laughter)

Ever since this moment, Potato never misses an opportunity to play the "Mother Rice" card.

Rice : "What do you feel like having for dinner?"

Potato : "I dunno...what are you cooking?"

Rice : "Well, I was thinking of maybe getting some Chinese take-out"

Potato : "Take out?? What would your mother think if she heard this?"

Rice : (feels 4000 years of guilt) "Fine fine...I'll cook something..."

Potato : (snickering) "Chinese take-out is fine"

Mothers in Law Part I - Rice's Mother in Law

Rice has a Mother in Law. Rice is, of course, ever so grateful to her Mother in Law, as there would be no Potato without a Mother Potato. Potato of course, never misses an opportunity to poke fun at Rice, using Mother Potato as the delivery vehicle.

Perhaps you have all seen on television the infomercial about the pot whose lid has a built in strainer. The infomercial is pretty typical ; scenes of the harried housewife struggling to strain her spaghetti into a colander, spilling her family's entire dinner into the sink, rendering it inedible. Then, amazingly, she gets the strainer pot, and lo and behold! She's a gourmet chef! Perfectly cooked pasta, garnished even better than Emeril himself. The infomercial goes on to show the various sizes of pots, with perfectly cooked meals and desserts in the background. Really now, if you can't even pour a pot of spaghetti into a colander without spilling it, how does getting a pot with a strainer lid make you a master baker as found in a patisserie?

So anyway, Rice always bags on infomercials like this, as she well knows it's quite the pain in the butt to cook anything, let alone a gourmet meal, plus dessert.

Potato : "What are we having for dinner?"

Rice : "I dunno, leftovers I suppose."

Potato : "Leftovers? Aww...."

Rice : "Gee, if I had a strainer pot, I could cook you a proper meal..."

Potato : "Yeah, and bake me a cake too!"

Much later, Potato is visiting his folks. Mother Potato is cooking spaghetti and meatballs. Potato asks if he can help, and Mother Potato asks him to drain the pasta. And if out of sheer coincidence, the pasta is boiling away, in yes, you guess it, a strainer pot. Potato can't help but laugh heartily. Mother Potato asks Potato what is so funny and Potato has to explain :

"Hee hee, Rice and I always see these on TV. Rice says it makes you into a gourmet chef if you have one."

Mother Potato : "Well, I like it, it's convenient"

Weeks later, Rice and Potato are at Potato's folks' house for dinner.

Mother Potato : "Hi Rice!"

Rice : "Hi Mother Potato!"

Mother Potato : "Hey Rice! Did you see my new pot?"

Rice (always fascinated by modern cookware) : "New? Cool! Where?"

Mother Potato : "It's on the stove!"

And, wouldn't you know it...it's a strainer pot.

Rice : "Ah, I've seen these on TV...."

Mother Potato : "Potato says you don't really care for them..."

Rice (now tasting her foot, looking over at a obviously amused Potato) : "Well, if it works for you..."

Potato : (Snickering)