Potato's first visit to the rice paddies

So, eventually, Rice had to bring Potato to meet her parents. As, with any parental meeting, Rice was pretty nervous, but even more so because Potato was, well a Potato. Rice's parents are pretty darn traditional Chinese, though having lived in the United States for more than half their lives. Rice's parents had little contact with other potatoes, having no potatoes as friends. This is coupled with the fact that Rice's parents are notoriously critical of every one of her actions. Will they give her the disapproving "He's not Chinese" look? Or the "Are you doing this to drive us to an early grave" look?

Potato himself was pretty nervous. Of course, there's always the standard "meeting her parents" jitters. But this time it was compounded by the following conversation :

Potato : Do we need to bring anything? Side dish? Flowers?

Rice : No, my mom will cook everything. She doesn't do the flowers thing.

Potato : Oh, ok. Is there anything else you need to tell me?

Rice : Ummm...yeah, wear nice socks?

Potato : Socks?? (thinks for a moment) Ohhh! The take off shoes thing.

Rice : Yeah, pretty much.

Potato : Do they have to match? (snickers)

Now, Potato's a pretty big guy. He's 6', 200lbs. Rice's parents are not used to being so close to people that size, not to mention in their house. As Potato put it "Large white guy, running around the house with shoes on, looking for a fork" But, being the good natured guy he is, Potato made sure that when he spoke to Rice's parents, that he spoke in a gentle, quiet tone, careful not to make any sudden movements. Quite unexpectedly, Rice's mother was visibly uncomfortable. Aw, heck, she was downright scared. As Potato put it "Large white guy, running around the house with shoes on, looking for a fork" Luckily, Potato and Rice's dad are both engineers, so they had plenty to talk about.

It comes to dinner, and Rice's parents are showing where everyone should sit. Each place setting has a plate, a napkin and all but one had chopsticks. Gee, where should Potato sit? Not only did Potato (who is quite deft at using chopsticks) not get a set of chopsticks, nor did he even get a fork, but his place setting was complete with a SPORK! Yes, the same sporks you get from eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken when you get mashed potatoes and gravy. Hmmm...were Rice's parents being frugal or did they somehow know that sporks and potatoes go together? It is still a mystery yet to be solved.

Dinner items included Chinese fare, including some items that Rice had not eaten since she was a little girl. Indeed, it was a special occasion. So we're all sitting down, when Rice's mom suddenly realizes she has one more dish to bring out. She returns with a large CorningWare-like dish and makes room for it. This actually took some engineering, since the table was already full with more than eight dishes. She places the new item right in front of Potato. She opens up the cover, and lo' and behold - it was some sort of casserole! Oh, but not just any casserole! It was a broccoli and Cream of Mushroom soup casserole, right of the old Campbell's label itself. How could Potato not resist such a well prepared interpretation of his people's food?

Rice and Potato stared at each other for a moment, each of us thinking "White food for the white guy!" Potato did his best to be thankful. Rice's brother took a large helping of said casserole, to which he then exclaimed (in his, how should we say "fab-u-lous" way), "Well, mom, you don't have to make THIS again." Rice didn't even attempt to have any of the casserole. Potato leaned over to me and asked "Uh, your mom never made this before has she?"

Needless to say, Rice later assured her parents that they did not have to go out of the way to cook "Potato's food".